Sympathy and Empathy

Sympathy and empathy are two words everyone has heard before. They have become hot topics following the events that have transpired over the past few weeks. In the past, the action of extending sympathy towards someone who had suffered a loss of some kind was expected. It was a normal, almost trivial part of living in human society. Nowadays, it seems like people will argue over something as simple as when it's appropriate to empathize with others. That transition is just more evidence that the world has fallen.

What exactly are sympathy and empathy though? We’ve all used the words at some point, but do we really understand what they mean? At times, people use them almost interchangeably, but there is an important difference between the two concepts. Webster’s dictionary describes that difference as such: “Sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing something difficult or painful. Empathy involves actively sharing in the person’s emotional experience.” When someone is going through something tough and you worry about their well-being, you’re showing sympathy. When someone is hurting, and you can feel their pain, you’re empathizing with them.

Most of us would probably say they show sympathy toward or empathize with others when appropriate, but do we really? When we hear about someone going through something rough, we’ll say “I’ll pray for you.” Prayer is an awesome way to show sympathy for someone, but how many times have we made that statement and then forgotten about that person five seconds after we left their presence? We sometimes let people unload their woes on us, and we’ll make all the right facial expressions, nod along, and make it seem like we care, all the while we’re juggling other things in our minds. How much of our sympathy is just lip service? How much of our empathy is just an act?

Certainly, when someone we love is hurting, we all can and will sympathize and empathize. That’s natural, but if our sympathies are limited to those we care about or those who do right by us, those sympathies are worldly. Jesus spoke against such practices.

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. - Matthew 5:44-48

His meaning should be clear. When a controversial person like Charlie Kirk is murdered, it might be easy to simply not care or even rejoice. That’s not how believers should behave. Even if we think a person is evil, that doesn’t mean we should return in kind.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. - Romans 12:17

Even if we don’t like someone, we shouldn’t be among those that refuse to show sympathy or empathy. In fact, the Bible clearly tells us that we should empathize with the people around us, even those that are against us.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. - Romans 12:14-15

It’s not always easy. To make things worse sympathy, and especially empathy, are not just switches we can turn on. They are things that we have to open ourselves to feel. If we need a model for what that looks like, then look no further than Jesus. He was God in the flesh, and he came down to Earth for us. He showed sympathy for the poor, the sick, and the troubled. He shared their joy and even wept when they were in pain (John 11:35). Then he died for us and took on all our sins and the misery that came with them. He didn’t just share our burden. He took it on in our place. That was probably the greatest show of empathy the world will ever see.

None of us are Jesus, but if we believe in Him, we’ll gain access to His Spirit. It empowers us to do right and convicts us when we’re wrong. The Spirit is a gift that God gave to us because he sympathized with us. He understood our plight and knew about our struggles with sin, and now we can lean on that Spirit in our times of need. We can also use that same Spirit to reach out and try to understand others. God is love, and so is His Spirit. As believers, we should feel that love, and we should be able to help others feel it too. We can care about their well-being and share in their burdens. We can do for them what God first did for us.

Chris Lawyer